Which do you need: a self-care toolkit or self-care routine?

info0405545
Sep 22
3 min read

I recently saw a post online by a therapist struggling with low mood...

She talked about how she needs to dip into her self-care toolkit to help her manage how she's feeling. She said she's going to do some exercise, stick to regular sleep patterns, and start meal-planning so she can eat healthier.

This got me thinking about the difference between a self-care toolkit and a self-care routine...

What is the difference?

A self-care toolkit is the same as any other wellbeing toolkit in that its purpose is to help you move away from something you DON'T WANT.

That thing you don't like could be anything from low mood and low energy, to pain or worrying. A toolkit is there to help you move away from this.

A self-care routine is designed to help you move towards what you DO WANT.

A routine is about doing certain behaviours with a view of bringing a certain state into your life. That could be, fitness, a clearer mind, or financial security for example.

A self-care toolkit is reactive, whereas a routine is proactive. Reactive means you do it when a problem arises. A reaction. Proactive means you do it in the absence of a problem. Often with a view to reducing the likelihood a problem will arise in the first place.

An example would be someone who is struggling to sleep. The toolkit approach might be to reach for some sleeping pills, as they've helped in the past. The routine approach might be to develop a pre-bed routine that helps you wind down mind and body to create the conditions for good seep.

Activities like gentle stretching, journaling, dimming the lights etc in the hour or two leading up to bed time could with fit into a pre-bed routine.

Which is best: toolkit or routine?

In my opinion, neither is better. It all depends how you want to approach your self-care...

Do you want to wait for problems to arise, then fix them? Or do you want to grow and change as a person?

How C.B.T helped me grow

In my early twenties I went to see a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) counsellor for some help with my unproductive thinking around a difficult life situation I was going through.

The therapist was great. She helped me think about the situation in a totally different, and more productive way. I didn't change, but how I thought about the situation did.

In my early 30's I learnt CBT for myself. This enabled me to use it daily as a way o clearing my mental inbox every day. At bedtime, I'd run any issues of the day or worries through the ABC model (a simple CBT model). After a couple of years of doing this I went from being an Olympic level worrier to not worrying at all.

I changed...

Those differences again

A self-care toolkit is about moving away from what you don't want - a self-care routine is about moving towards what you do want.
A self-care toolkit is reactive - a self-care routine is proactive.
A self-care toolkit is about fixing a problem - a self-care routine is about growth.

Flip your toolkit around

At the start I told you about the therapist struggling with low mood, and how she's going to use her toolkit of exercise, sleep and meal-planning to help her cope...

If I were that therapist, I'd take all of those things she knows help, and look for some additional bits to add in. And rather than use it as a toolkit when low mood arises, turn them into a routine of daily habits that make it less likely (not 100%) the low mood will arise...